Parramatta mightn't win the premiership but Nathan Hindmarsh has forwarded an unbeatable nomination for match summation of the year.
"Up shit creek,'' was Hindmarsh's comment on where Parramatta were after the 32-20 loss to Souths at ANZ Stadium on Saturday night.
The stand-in captain for the game, Hindmarsh said Parramatta had just one paddle left.
There were those who suggested Feleti Mateo was that paddle, but he's gone too.
Coach Michael Hagan said the five-eighth would miss this Friday night's game against Manly and possibly the week after against the North Queensland Cowboys.
This is a much better prognosis than the initial one after Mateo limped off against Souths with strained knee ligaments before bravely returning.
Hagan said regular captain Nathan Cayless would be monitored and a decision made late in the week, after his ongoing shin injury caused the prop to miss the Souths game.
Ditto for fellow prop Josh Cordoba, who sustained an abdominal injury on Saturday night.
Hagan said Toyota Cup captain Kris Keating would replace Mateo, whose creativity has kept the Eels afloat this season.
Keating made his NRL debut earlier in the season and will join his brother, hooker Matt, in the top grade.
"The sun came up today, the sky was blue, wasnt it? There's another game on Friday,'' Hagan said of the pressure of righting the ship.
Indeed, and no one's shot anybody or torpedoed any ships; Parramatta have just lost a few games of football.
But the team is a team drowning under the pressure of expectations.
Parramatta were among the NRL favourites at the start of the season.
To continue the tortured aquatic imagery, every week they're expected to blow someone out of the water.
Former international Ben Ikin said after the Souths game, that Parramatta had a playing lineup to die for.
Instead of challenging for the lead, Parramatta are among a flotilla of five teams a point behind eight-placed Penrith.
The top four is already out of reach; the Eels are really playing for one of the last finals spots.
"Souths played probably their best game of the year. There's no doubt the standard has improved this season. We lost four games in a row earlier in the year,'' Hagan said, before conceding teams are usually peaking towards the finals now, instead of battling a slump.
"There a couple of options I'm thinking about; you can speculate on them if you want,'' Hagan said of the team to be announced this morning.
Well, Ikin's estimate doesn't stand close analysis and there aren't any masterstrokes to be pulled.
Hagan could gamble on Matt Keating going 80 minutes and use Mark Riddell as a running forward, could gamble on NSW Cup player Joe Gulavao being good for reliving a big one from his Penrith days, could use Manly-bound teenage giant Tony Williams as a running
forward replacement.
More likely, he could switch Jarryd Hayne to fullback or centre and give the backline more thrust, or pull winger Eric Grothe back from the NSW Cup, hoping the enigmatic one can be the destroyer he is capable of being this time against the opposition.
Deckchairs on the Titanic? It's just a game of football.