The murder of three young children and the suicide of their father west of Eden on the Far South Coast last month has prompted a call for men to talk about their problems.

Greystanes resident Alister Haining is the brother-in-law of Karen Bell, the mother of the three children - Jack, Maddie and Bon Bell - who were killed by their father Gary Poxon in a four-wheel-drive vehicle at an isolated property at Pericoe on June 28.

Mr Haining, 42, said he would be happy if just one man heeded his call to seek help before circumstances overwhelmed them.

"It's been obviously a very difficult time at the moment, and in the last couple of days I have been thinking, in regard to [my brother-in-law's] situation, whether he could have been helped at any stage,'' Mr Haining said.

"It's also made me think about why guys can't open up, why they have to put on a rugged exterior.

"I don't understand why the majority of men seem to sweep their troubles under the rug.''

He believes the increasing cost of things such as food and petrol are also adding to the stresses many men experience.

A father of two, Mr Haining admits to also having had some problems in the past, relating to the stress and long hours of his job as a business development manager, and to feeling homesick for his native Scotland and family there.

Mr Haining said counselling helped him understand his feelings and resolve his problems.

"A lot of men think that if they go and speak to someone it is a sign they are weak,'' he said.

"It is not a sign of weakness if you need help.''

"Mr Haining said his sisters were good at talking about and sharing their problems with each other but that his brothers tended to keep their concerns to themselves.

"I just want to get across that you are not a weak person if you speak to somebody about your problems.

"I have not been shy with my mates in talking about what has happened in the last couple of weeks it's taken a huge burden off my shoulders.''

Mr Haining said his sister-in-law was still numb and was trying to be strong for her children.

"It's affected everybody. Fundamentally we didn't see this coming.''

The Bega District News has started an appeal for Karen Bell to help her re-establish her life. An account for donations has been opened at IMB Bega. The BSB is 641800 and account number is 200512381. Money can be deposited from any bank.

More information: www.lifeline.org.au, www.beyondblue.org.au or www.blackdoginstitute.org.au.